Really Need to Vent

I really need to vent because I haaaate my school sooooooo much. I have kind of despised it all year but now they're REALLY going to hear it from me.

**Warning** there is a lot of profanity in the following

1. What the FUCK is up with our "packets" of information. They are DISORGANIZED, completely USELESS, environmentally UNFRIENDLY, piles of SHIT. Everything provided in the packet is online. A lot of the packet information is wrong (dates, times, lecture slides). Most of it is completely worthless (dates, times, lecture slides). And it is ENTIRELY USELESS. There is not one useful thing in the packet that I could not find somewhere else. Whoever put these pieces of shit together need to be fired. I need to find a paper recycling place so that I can get rid of it. OH WAIT, I live in NEW FUCKING ORLEANS where saying I'm going to recycle is like saying I'm going to go live on the moon.

2. What the FUCK is up with our professors. People who cannot write questions worth SHIT (ie: horrible parameters, questions that test our ability to READ the question rather than test our knowledge of the material, etc), who cannot teach for their LIVES ("this should be obvious, right? i mean, just trust me here on the math." HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE TOPIC IF I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MATH. wtf!?!??!

3. What the FUCK is up with our ridiculous team-based learning "classes." Am I really supposed to retain things when I go to these ridiculous "workshops?" The only thing I retain is that I'M ANNOYING I'M NOT AT HOME STUDYING FOR SOMETHING THAT MATTERS. Instead, I'm spending 30 minutes out of the hour WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO CLICK THEIR ANSWER CHOICES. WTF is that!?? JUST CLOSE POLLING ALREADY.

4. What the FUCK is up with the whole putting-tests on computers idea. Fine, it might be a good idea... IN THEORY... WHEN YOU DON'T TRY TO FUCK YOURSELVES OVER. First, they don't standardize the computers. Second, they're making PC-owners take the computerized version and making MAC-owners take the written version. Um, wtf??? Third, you have to have internet connection to take the test... AND OUR SCHOOL HAS NOTORIOUSLY UNSTABLE WI-FI CONNECTIONS. Why they have to roll out the system NOW is beyond me. Why can't they just WAIT until they figure out all the kinks!??!?! Oh yeah, it's cuz they're FUCKING IDIOTS.

5. What the FUCK is up with them CLAIMING, "oh we listen to our students!" and then making MORE mandatory classes with "TBLs" and "PBLs" when the students before us said they were USELESS and NOT NECESSARY!??!

6. What the FUCK is up with them telling us, "oh, independent study is very important. You'll find all your independent reading material in your packets and online." AND THEN NOT GIVING US THE MATERIAL IN OUR PACKETS.... AND MAKING THE ONLINE MATERIAL UNAVAILABLE. WTF!!!! I really should actually write an email to someone about this because it's really idiotic that we can't access this material because someone fucking programed a link wrong.

7. What the FUCK is up with our Path CD... and that RIDICULOUS email that they sent out about how to use it. WELL WE OBVIOUSLY KNOW HOW TO FUCKING OPERATE A CD. THE PROBLEM IS, YOU DIDN'T CATEGORIZE THE CD VERY WELL... AND YOU DIDN'T PUT AN INFLAMMATION FILE IN THE CD (inflammation is our current block). So obviously we're going to fucking ask what's up with the CD when we can't find the images we need for this current material. WRITING AN EMAIL ABOUT HOW TO OPEN A CD IS NOT FUCKING USEFUL. Oh yeah, and the ONLY place there was a link to the inflammation images WE'RE REQUIRED TO LOOK AT was deeply embedded in an email you sent to us before the block even started. Nope, the link is NOT online. Nope, the link is NOT on the CD. And NOPE, YOUR FUCKING STUPID EMAIL DID NOT ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.

Okay I am finished.

Wow, I feel ridiculously better.

Failed my chip-bet

So I failed my chip bet. And get this, I didn't even REALIZE it at the time that I had lost. I was at a Mexican place (okay, technically, it was El Salvidorian...) and because it's insanely popular, we had a couple of drinks while we waited for our table. I was on a double-date with a good friend of mine from Dallas and we were just having a blast gushing about Vegas (okay, they were all gushing about Vegas, since I have never been). When we got seated, they brought us tortilla chips and 2 types of salsa. Without even thinking about it, I dug in! I was starving, had half a margarita in my system already, and literally did not even realize I was eating chips.

Isn't that just awful?? Maybe junk food really is addicting after all. Or maybe I just eat everything that's in sight. Who knows!

Headaches and bets

So I'm currently taking neuroscience aka neuroanatomy aka useless course about the brain and I'm pretty sure the coolest stuff I've learned so far is about headaches. Mainly because I have so many headaches and they're so awesome. Okay, clearly they're not awesome, but sometimes I feel so miserable, I want to pull my brain out of my skull (and thus awe-inspiring, thus awesome to learn about).

Anyway, discovered pretty definitively that I have tension-type headaches. It makes me feel better knowing I can name it something and knowing that I'm doing basically everything I can about them. It also makes me feel better that I don't have like, an epidural hematoma or something ridiculous like that. Although, it would still be cool to get an MRI or CT of my brain and see if I have some, like, genetic defect of my brain that cause me to have headaches (names of these syndromes I have completely, utterly forgotten). Sometimes, other people's misery makes yours look so... stupid.

One thing that was mentioned in conjunction with tension-type headaches is that the victims (me) are at high risk / show higher incidence of depression. Very interesting piece of information because I'm highly depressive about school. But see, now that I know that my depression stems from my headaches, it makes me feel a lot better about it!! And thus, I feel like I can try to tackle it head-on. I'll let you know how it goes.

In other news in my life, Tom and I have several bets going on. First bet came when he read some article (I never read articles anymore and so thus must rely on Tom for all outside-wordly-information) about how scientists discovered that junk food is addicting or something equally ridiculous. I told him that I thought it was ridiculous so he bet me that I couldn't go a month without eating chips. See, this is a pretty powerful bet because I basically eat chips like it's my job, especially when I get stressed out (which is pretty much all the time). I have exactly... 13 days left on this bet (I have an app on my iTouch that tells me).

We also have another bet going because somewhere in my bizarre mind, I decided that I'm going to start working out in the mornings. When I told this Tom, he promptly laughed in my face and said, "You won't be able to go a WEEK getting up that early to work out." And thus, I am now on my 3rd day of going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 6:30am to work out. So far, it's actually been... kind of awesome!

So basically all this betting tells me that I need external motivations to make me do things I don't generally like to do. Someone should bet me that I won't pass neuro because I have a test tomorrow and I really, really, really could not care less right now!

Sleep

Okay wow, what a change a block makes. That stuff about soooo much free time? Yeah, totally a lie. Don't know what I was smoking, but clearly nothing good.

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I take a long time to fall asleep, and I can't stay asleep. Last night I had this ridiculously frightful dream about my upcoming neuroanatomy test (it's tomorrow morning at 8am) that seemed too real for comfort.

I've been listening to this podcast from some Dr. Henshaw called, "Relaxation Music for Sleep, Stress, and Anxiety Relief from Enhanced Healing." Not sure if this a PhD doc or an MD doc, but it used to be quite good. "Used to be," because I think I've grown immune to it.

I think one problem is that when I'm starting to drift off at around 11:30 or something like that, my (upstairs?) neighbors start having sex. It's not that they're really loud, but I can still hear them. I can hear their friggin' orgasms (was that TMI?). And it's really annoying because it's like I'm SO CLOSE to falling asleep but then I get pulled back to reality. So sometimes I sleep with headphones in. And then I wake up all tangled in my headphones and it's just awkward. I wonder if they would stop having sex above my bedroom if I told them I could hear them...

Soooo much time for nothing!

So I suddenly realized recently that medical students actually have a lot of down-time to do... well, to do nothing, if they wanted. Some kids are out partying, others are doing research or getting a Masters in Public Health, but I've decided to use my down-time to do nothing. I suppose I could study more, but who really studies 8 hours a day? And really, who NEEDS to study 8 hours a day? If you studied 8 hours a day, you would basically have to make 100% on everything or else I would just assume you're an idiot because nobody should require that much time to understand stuff.

I really need a hobby. Suggestions, anyone? I've started watching Lost, which has been fruitful thus far (I just started season 3), but is quickly losing its appeal. I'm going to the gym more, but that only occupies an hour of my day and it's not the most enjoyable endeavor. I've thought about learning how to cook, but I can't bear the thought of driving to the grocery store more than once every other week and I'm pretty sure I would fail and waste a lot of food. I do have a large stack of books I want to read on my bookcase, but I read so much for school, they don't look appealing anymore. Oh, and I've tried the whole "knitting" thing many times in the past and that has never caught on.

It's times like this when I wish Tom were here. A boyfriend is pretty much the best hobby. I miss Dallas and my lifestyle there. It was so effortless and blissful.

Wow, I am in desperate need of a hobby.

"Always Love Product"

I got my hair cut for the first time since September (yes, it really has been THAT LONG) and my stylist used just about 10 different products in my hair. Yes, I did not exaggerate, 10 different products. As she said, "Hey, you're paying for it, so why not!"

I obsess over my hair. I have ever since I totally destroyed it in 2002 getting ready for my bf's senior prom. It's a long story, but essentially I permed my hair (don't ask) and it was a HUGE disaster. I believe I'm still recovering from the trauma. (Yes, that is my expert to-be-MD opinion.)

My stylist in Dallas was such a hair-Queen. After each cut, she would blow out my hair and give me this silky-smooth, super-shiny, sexy-wavy hair that was just too beautiful. I really thought I would never find another like her ever again. BUT I HAVE. And as I speak, I have silky-smooth, super-shiny, sexy-wavy hair that is again, just too beautiful. STEVEN SOBEL, all you New Orleans people. STEVEN SOBEL SALON. $50 wash/cut/style.

I love, love, love going to the salon.